Its been a long time since I've posted anything here on eblogger. I finally realized I hadn't made any new posts. I decided it was time to change that. So here I sit...its been a long four years of ups and downs. I'm a changed person from it and there are some things I still can't believe I've faced.

In 2008 my dad was diagnosed with Dementia. It happened due to a brain injury from many years ago...basically the injury healed but dementia was its result. Bare with me, I'm not a doctor!

That year was really hard to deal with. My ex-husband (yes I said ex) was still in the Navy and he was deploying on a ship for 8 months. I was staying with my in-laws at the time and I was dealing with my dad's illness.

It was a difficult year. I ended up moving out of my in-laws place and back home due to some incidents that occurred. Also my dad at that point had been put in a retirement home. It was not a choice we made lightly. He was becoming violent. It was the Dementia's fault, however, we couldn't allow his behavior to harm anyone.

During this time, also, my ex was threatening divorce among many other things. It was a very trying time period for me. I have no doubt his version of events differ from my own however I have emails and proof to back up what I'm saying so...bring it on.

Anyways, he came back and we decided to work on our marriage. We moved to military housing in Port Hueneme, CA. I loved the location it was just beautiful and there is a lot to do down there. I really enjoyed my time spent there. I met a lot people and had a lot of resources to choose from.

Some people remain my friends still despite the change of location or the situation that I have faced this year. During my time period in Port Hueneme, in December of 2008 my father passed away due to complications.

I went into a state of deep depression for awhile and in 2009 my father in law, who had been suffering from diabetes type 2 among a few other things, he hit critical and was in and out of the hospital.

It was very difficult on my ex and I understood that my grief was affecting him, however, I cannot put my feelings on hold. I was even close to suicidal a few times, because of the stress of everything. I simply had enough traumatic events.

Finally, in October my ex's father passed away and together we faced our deteriorating marriage and both of our grieving. That year my ex decided to cheat on me with a female friend. He will probably deny it and claim I'm just saying that now that the marriage is over however its the truth.

I have a source who has told me the truth at last. I remember the arguments over the female friend. Why I stuck around at all is a good question. I have a few answers but I'm not going to share them.

Finally at the start of 2010...things had gone from bad to worse but all appearances we were the happy couple. I had begun to fall out of love with him. His behavior had gone from someone I knew to a man who was very callus.

In many ways I can now stand back and say that a combination of things created the set up for divorce later but in other ways I believe he was to blame. After all nobody told him to cheat...repeatedly on me.

At a certain point I just stopped caring what he said or did to me anymore. I just prayed. It was all I could do. Again I ask myself why did I stick around, I just should have divorced his ass...but I had a feeling that if I left there would be "dire" repercussions.

Many people have judged my decisions on this and disagree with how I handled things. True, I was very naive but as pathetic as it sounds...I don't believe in divorce just because your not getting along.

I truly thought love would conquer all and that no matter how bad things were that somehow me and him could work through it. I was sorely mistaken. At the end of last year I knew...I just knew it wasn't going to last.

In many ways I was relieved and in other ways I was disheartened because if surely I could not keep a marriage together and be the best possible wife then I was a failure. Yes, classic symptoms of holding the world on my shoulder. Sometimes you need the hard stuff to make you grow. This is what I needed to grow as a person regardless if I could have had someone holding my hand through it or not.

As painful and as hard as it was, I am a stronger, wiser person because of it. Its one thing to stand on the outside of someone's relationship and judge. To see what they are doing wrong and what needs to be done but its very different when its your marriage.

So this year has been a eye-opening experience for me. I found clear proof of my ex's cheating ways and I found some other things like child porn, things he'd stole and lies he told about me. This experience taught me many valuable lessons. One of the hardest was realizing that love is not enough alone to make a marriage work.

Marriage takes not only love but persistence, willingness to work together through the hard times, communication and understanding. For awhile I thought this was achieveable with my ex but his determination to keep things the way "he" wanted without consideration for my feelings generally, had a major impact on the journey from married to single again.

At the current time...I can say I don't love him anymore however I don't wish him dead. I pray he learns and grows as a human being. The woman he cheated on me with, he is currently "engaged" to. Its easy for me to hate her and him but I think it doesn't matter anymore. My feelings still hurt and probably will for a long time.

I know I can't rush the emotion but I'm certainly finding that my capacity to love has not been diminished from this. In fact, I am able to be more open with this new person then I ever was with my ex.

If something bothers me I speak up right away. I like how real this person is. My ex I saw through the "lenses" of Prince Charming. I never consciously did it on purpose but it took this and lots of work to see that in myself.

With this new and wonderful man I see him just as he is. A human being who is flawed but I still care about anyways. I'm not disillusioned as I was with my ex and it helps to take things at a slow pace.

Currently, my ex is well in my hemisphere of I don't really care. I no longer have contact with him though I could still email or even drop by if I wanted to but I don't. The four years of verbal/emotional abuse has taught me a great deal about toleration and how I allow people to treat me.

A question was posed to me a week ago: Would I ever get back with my ex, if he had taken classes and showed he'd changed? My answer? No! And why wouldn't I? Because the past is too painful to move forward. Maybe one day I can forgive him and have a conversation but even being friends is too much for me to handle.

This man put me through so much shit and to ever want to talk with him again feels like pulling teeth. He cheated not once, not twice, but many times among other things. I pray for his well being and wish him well but his core values and mine do not match at all.

When you go through what I've endured or anything similar...it opens your eyes to life...to growth. I don't regret what has happened. I do wish I'd been well wiser and seen more but judging myself is unproductive at this point. Also I wouldn't be who I am today without the experiences I've gone through. I don't see this as a great failure in my life but as a traumatic event that has enabled me to become stronger.

I remember the songs in recent months that became my theme songs for a bit: Rolling in the Deep by Adele and A Little Bit Stronger by Sara Evans.

The one thing I realize, more than anything else, is that this new guy is way different than my ex and he makes me feel genuinely happy. He doesn't do the things my ex did and I am careful of course of "rebound" and the like.

With that in mind, I'm going to close this blog with a final word: Don't let your past control your future. Learn from it and move on. I know easier said then done but pain sometimes is what we need to grow and become a stronger person. Don't let fear or the hurt stop you from being.

Go out and do something you have wanted to do for a long time that your ex wouldn't let you do. Even if your not divorced or out of a relationship or you haven't been in a relationship you can still do things.

I got my hair cut, dyed it, got my upper ear pierced (wooo), finally broke out the dresses and skirts and I'm no longer hiding behind my shyness. Sometimes I feel shy but most of the time I'm pretty outgoing.

I finally went clubbing for the first time in my life this year. First time for me to go bar hopping and go to a house party where I danced. First time for me to open up to my friends about my feelings and even call on them when I'm having a rough time.

I got some things I've always wanted and I'm finally able to drink tequila without being judged. I'm considering a trip to Vegas for the first time and I'm looking for own place now as well as a job. It took me a few months to get motivated and strong enough to get past the pain. I won't lie there are moments...that I reflect and I feel sad but its not for him...or the wrong choices I made. No, I get sad because marriage for good or ill was something I enjoyed a great deal. I loved being a wife and having a man all to myself (well at least that's what I thought).

So don't let life get you down. When the phoenix dies, it goes out in glorious flames only to be reborn even more glorious. Stay strong and remember your never alone.

Tragedy....

So I wrote up this interesting piece...and I thought I haven't posted here on my e blog in a long time. Might as well put this up. Just a quick note before I do however. I am getting a divorce unfortunately. My ex was cheating on me with multiple women. And apparently divorce will make it easier to juggle his side jobs...you know its hard to keep your wife happy and your loves too. Also the dick did some of other disgusting things which I'm just now learning about so suffice to say this topic you will understand right away.

Does love Exist??

When I was little I always would look up into the sky and wonder. What was the point of everything? What was my purpose? And I remember thinking about love..I'd spend days pondering it and turning it over in my head. And I remember those lonely days...

I was very lonely as a child. My mother tried to have more kids but they never stayed to term. Before me she didn't think she would be able to conceive a child. I am kind of like my families blessing...and although I was told this many times...I always felt sad.

I felt like I was just a burden. Maybe it was the fact that I spent most of my time on my own playing by myself with my plastic dinosaurs, barbies and hotwheels. Yea I was raised androgenus. Or maybe it was the fact that my mom coddled me so much that when I grew up I wasn't prepared for the "real world".

I just don't know. I do know that I longed for love. It wasn't that my parents didn't love me because they did. They loved me very very much. However...there were problems like any family. My dad was there but emotionally unavailable most of the time and my mom was always high energy, involved in everything I did and when I cried she didn't comfort she told me to stop crying. That big girls don't cry.

The double team wasn't their fault, it just happened. And as for their arguments I know there is nothing I could do to change it and they certainly didn't argue on purpose either.

So instead I turned to reading books, playing video games and watching tv shows to fill the void that a sister or brother might or the family I wanted. Also I watched my few friends blossom into teenagers and later adults and I thought to myself why am I so different? Why is it when my peers are busy with makeup or chasing boys...I am thinking about deeper things? I was into boys and makeup mind you but I was also more concerned about deeper thoughts and ideas.

So love to me was a dream but a beautiful amazing dream and I craved it. I remember grabbing romance novels in the bookstore and hiding in my book section (sci-fi/fantasy) to read them. Well that was until I learned my sci fi/fantasy section also had romance/love in the books too! I couldn't get enough of the romance, the love, the beauty. I was a romantic fool at heart I guess.

So when I hit high school I was eager to go forward. To find someone...and at that point the lonely-ness factor was building. I had about two boyfriends in high school but they were not serious. Then college...I met someone and thought I'd found love. And fall in love I did. But he wasn't true and I couldn't see past my blinding love I felt for him.

I would smack my younger college self if I ever time traveled. And I'd tell her stay away from the guy he's a dick, a sicko and go for "........" this guy instead. But I guess all things teach us a lesson in life.

So here I stand or rather sit writing this riciduclous rant about love and spewing my story out and I'm brought to the question: "Does love exist?"

I've pondered this question over the past few months. And the answer is well am I in a good mood or a bad mood? Lol no no although that is partially true. No the answer is I believe yes. I've seen 80 year old couples...older even and they are still together and love each other very much. It wasn't easy as they fought and had rough times...but they managed to stay together and work things out.

So I look at my own life and ask why then can't I do the same?? I know I know its not my fault my ex is a cheating, lying bastard and deserves to be castrated so he can never reproduce...still I question if love is real then is it worth attempting?

I mean the first time around didn't go so well. And I was foolish, blinded and I got hurt really bad. Is it really worth it?? It seems like people are divorcing more then staying together. The crazy thing is that I am an easy going person. I may have a lot of emotion and lots I could say but still I'm easy going. I am willing to set aside my pride and work on things...do anything it takes to fight for my marriage. So I would never consider divorce with the exception of cheating, stealing, verbally or physically abusing me.

So is it worth the risk? To anwser that we have to ask what type of love? And how long?

The kind of love I envision is the "deep true love" that goes beyond passion beyond romantic nonsense...it encompasses a deep connection with someone who no matter how things bad are for you and the other person...you both stick it through. You make it work. You do what you need to do to stay true to each other. And You pray to god everyday to help make it work. Your more than just looks or passion...you find a deep soul connection and work together to achieve the goals and keep the marriage sound.

And how long? Well I think the block above this explains it all. This type of love lasts unto death...beyond maybe.

So is it worth the risk? Well if you saying to find this deep true love then I'd say yes. However....the next question is there this type of love out there from someone?

That I can't answer...because I don't know...HE might be in my life right now or he may be someone else I haven't met yet... I just get the feeling that finding love like that is not an easy task.

For now after analyzing and going over this "love" question...I'm exhausted and I'm not sure where to go from here...but I guess getting some sleep is the way to go.

~Cheers!

... .LV. ...

So whose Lady Valmar?

I realized in all my posts I still haven't said much about who I am and I felt this entry should entail some of my background as well as about me.

I go by Lady Valmar, as mentioned in my first post. I love to write. In fact my husband and I had a discussion about why I love to write/read just a day ago. My reasons? It began with poetry and stories in 6th grade to which my teacher said I had promise. I didn't really think much of it because well writing just seemed to be too much work for me.

I liked reading by the time I hit 6th grade but I still wasn't a fan quite yet. When I was in Junior High, slowly I began to realize how much I loved reading and writing. It soon became a passion in high school that I couldn't shake.

Let me tell you something. Before I'd become passionate about writing/reading or even acting, I was the worst rebel ever. In fact I've always been a bit of a rebel, maybe too much for my own good. If my mom said go right, I went left predictably. Don't we all have something of a rebel inside?

Getting back on topic, in High School for freshman year, I failed miserably at keeping up with homework for English class or really making any effort for any class. I frankly, was too interested in picking up friends and being liked to think about important stuff like that. The one class I did take an interest in was Directions, whatever it really did for us.

I think my high school's idea was to help us learn how to interact with people, get jobs, give speeches, find out who we are etc. I guess it was useful to a degree. I did discover a few important things about myself: That while I was a shy person I was also a closet freak. I was loud and rebellious when I thought nobody could see. You know closet freaks...were sometimes unpredictable and definitely rebellious when we want to be.

Directions gave me a chance to work my charm skills and try out some acting parts for class. It was mandatory and even though the very thought of standing in front of a class was enough to make my heart start pounding and make me wheeze, I did find a sense of profound excitement at catching people's attention. I guess that's another thing I am a little bit of an attention junkie. I did stir up trouble quite a bit in Marching Band, I don't think I was really all that liked that year. Snort.

Then sophomore year rolled around and I began to make more of an effort in school partly because of my mom and partly because of encouragement from friends and one or two adults. Interestingly enough, that was the year I was in a deep depression and trying to stay afloat. I began to invest in reading a little more and once I picked up this book series titled "Legend of the Five Rings" thus my passion for reading overcame my lazy, rebellious nature.

Of course it was a little rebellious to read because apparently only stupid people/school girls or weirdos read at my school at least that was the running stereotype. Funny, I'm sure the same was said to people like Richard Dean Anderson (hero!) and Joe Flanigan at some point in their lives.

It's tragic the way intelligence and making a real effort is considered to be 'unimportant' in high school while makeup, friends and pursing relationships was important. Since most student's thought books sucked, my rebellious nature was to dive into my book passion just to piss them off and I was into books undeniably.

Junior year was really the turning point for me. It was my English teacher Mr. Cummings (yes that is really his name, no snickering) who one day took me aside during class and said I had talent. I wasn't just "promising" he said I had talent. Originally the Anime club had conducted meetings in his room at lunch time so I joined them.

I'll explain why I never liked those people very much or why I always felt so annoyed by them later. During lunch time I'd start writing about ideas or I'd chat with Mr. Cummings about how to write this or that.

Eventually I came up with a flow of unwritten stories between Sophomore, Junior and Senior year of high school. I can honestly say I'm not sure if I particpated in the talent show Junior or Senior year but there it is. My first time on stage, aside from Marching band performances, in a completely solo act.

I sang a song called 'Lunar Theme Arranged' that was from the original song track of the playstation game, "Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete." Ah what a classic game that was.

Well I sang it and apparently too quiet for them to hear I guess but the point was I had taken a huge step in facing stage fright. I truly believe writing/reading and acting are all interchangeable. It's all about getting into a scene and the character's feelings for the most part.

Alas I digress. After Junior year which held a few surprises I entered my Senior year. Finally, after all that horrible mess of freshman and sophomore year I was top dog again. Most senior's have this ego complex because they've almost made to adulthood. I was no exception.

Again I had English with Mr. Cummings and it became clear that I was not only going to write a novel and publish it but continue reading, writing and maybe even acting. I couldn't stop the fire that had begun to burn Junior year. I loved music and art but nothing could quite shake my passion for writing.

That year I was immortalized by freshman, showered with compliments, envied by the very same people who in 7th-8th grade had been disgusted by me and I was feeling good. Of course it wasn't all smooth sailing. I still was that shy, if slightly awkward teenager just barely figuring out my passions.

Mr. Cummings continued to encourage me throughout that year about my writing. I think I even found I loved history to the dot. Of course I didn't get a perfect A in the class but I'd made fairly high grades for Senior year. I'd found what I loved and it wasn't just video games though that is where I got the idea to be a graphic designer.

College. The biggest turning point yet. First year was unlike high school. No more annoying people though I did see a few of the girls who had despised my guts for whatever reason and they seemed just as out of place as I. There was so many people on campus and where to go from there?

I hated those lower English classes with a passion I'll admit but once I hit speech class and creative writing it was clear I couldn't deny what I needed to pursue. Sadly in all my class exploration I was unable to try out an acting class but I plan to do so once I go back to California.

If it hadn't of been for Mr. Cummings I might very well have not become as passionate for writing. I can't stop thinking about those few teachers who without their encouragement I would never have done so well in their class or in future classes.

I really owe it him and the others to say thank you with a big letter T at the beginning of it. So that is how come I'm so passionate about writing/reading and acting.

Things to keep in mind that I'm imparting to you the reader. There is always something new to learn in whatever the subject matter that might be. I may seem like I know it all but I don't. I'm still figuring out myself, life and not to mention the whole marriage thing, which I could write a few books on if I took the time. Just as in my writing I'm still learning. I continue to learn any and all things even subjects I despise like Biology and Politics. I like being well-rounded.

My basic history is all wrapped up in my passions, interests, experiences and anything else I can't think of right now.

I suppose since this is suppose to introduce you to me the writer enthusiat I might as well give basic details and the like.

Basic History of me (and those connected to me) 101

My birthday is August 22 and I'm 21 currently. Wow young huh? I truthfully have really never felt my age. I'm either too adult 'serious' or too young 'playful' for my age. I blame my charming good looks. XP. The problem being? I look like I'm 16 or at least 18. Curse it all. I know later on I'll be thanking my genes but for now its a never ending uphill journey in which people mistake me for having the mind of a 16 year old because I look like one.

Other times old guys will hit on me and I had one 14 year old try to ask me out once. Of course I said no! Sigh... It can get really annoying after awhile.

To be honest if I dress just right I can sometimes look like I'm actually 25. I guess its good to have a versatile look, but I swear its darn hard to look my age. Mostly because I'm a petite 5'2" and I have that cute appeal going for me.

If they only knew... LOL! Wearing a mask is hard but more so when you've never willingly created the facade.

Other facts that you may not know: I am woman. Duh! I'm married...sorry dudes/dudettes. My heritage is Irish and Italian which can be a blessing and a curse at times. I get so many jokes about drinking, my temper and about sex that its just ridiculous. Seriously where do these stereotypical ideas come from anyways?

My hair is very unique in that it looks pretty black in doors and once I'm outside its clear that my hair is actually a brown with reddish gold highlights throughout. My eyes are really nothing special just a brown. Wish it was hazel but eh.

I went to San Gabriel High school and then Pasadena City College. My husband is an Airmen mechanic in the Navy and is currently stationed at Pax River, Maryland. Which is why I'm living in Maryland right now.

My husband is Chinese and German. You can imagine what are kids are going to be. Melting pot across the board almost. His mom is Chinese and his dad German. My mom is Irish and my dad Italian by the way. My husband's father was formerly Navy and went to Vietnam where he was a bosamate (not sure if that is spelled right). He didn't see too much action and he did develop Diabetes from that Agent Orange chemical spray.

Unfortunately, my father-in-law has Type 2 Diabetes and currently has to do dialysis every other day. He is also currently recovering from a surgery to fix his hip and his foot which were from a previous injury in which he fell.

In addition to having been Navy, my father in law joined the police force and was at one time State police then federal police. He has so many trophies, awards and pictures its truly sick. You can only imagine his resume. Also his great, great grandfather is Chuck Yeager. Its true. So yes the last name is Yeager. I added on my husband's last name to mine.

My mother in law is also pretty impressive with her own resume seeing as she worked for a fine Italian restaurant then Disney and now for one of the popular news stations. She is a very well known cook and if she quit her job today, her crew wouldn't know what to do without her.

Rather a lot to live up to? There's more. My mother-in-law's mother is a very famous Chinese painter. She is known by the ambassdor of Taiwan, has I believe two Chinese Temples in her name, various restaurants she has opened, has a really impressive collection of jewerly (real) including pottery, perfume, rugs, pictures and antiques. Not to mention she is an adovocate for the Fah Long Gao in China and elsewhere.

She is a non sense kind of woman. She either likes you or doesn't. If she doesn't...let's just say your in a world of hurt. Stay on her good side for sure. She is one of the sweetest people I've met and at the end of the day when you put away all those impressive titles and things, it is clear she is a sweet and dedicated Grandmother.

Think that's all? There's more. Her daughter is married to a CIA agent who can't really tell us much about the cases he works on. When I married in I knew what I was getting into but it just became that much more real when I finally met my husband's famous Grandmother in person. All I can say is if you know anything about D.C./Silver Springs you might have heard her name. She's is pretty much famous there.

Now as for her husband. He use to work for the government and he is a wonderful old Irish man who also served in Vietnam and seems to speak basic Chinese pretty well. He is just so cool. He likes Chinese food and drinks this famous Chinese beer whenever he can. Which I tried and instantly loved.

The whole family is sweet and though the whole heirarchy thing can be frustrating at times and the cultural differences a problem too, I love his family.

Which brings me to my family. We're more humble in comparison. My mom has had a hard life moving around and dealing with various family issues. To note my mother in law probably had it worse in China when she lived there.

My mom is a entity all her own. The best I can explain without demeaning or in any way making her feel bad is to say you really have to know her like I do to understand her enough to not dislike her like most people tend to. Hope that made sense.

With that in mind she has been my best friend all the way on up to College. She supported my love for music and art, and too encouraged me to write. She made sure that I had as many childhood experiences as possible. Everything from library reading, pool fun, awana (Church - girl/boy scouts), fairs, trips to theme parks, museums, roller skating, ballet, tap dancing, swimming, karate classes, rides to Aunt Virginia's house (who I will talk about in my next blog post) etc. I've had so many pets thanks to my mom.

Lizards, two geese, mice, birds, fish, bunnies, guinea pigs, hamsters, turtles, chickens, dogs, cats, darkling beetles, lady bugs, daddy long leg spiders (lol), ant farm and a worm farm. We also babysat an Iguana, a huge turtle, a Chinchilla (nasty animal) and someone's Macaw. Having pets was one of the best highlights of my life.

Some of my mom interests include crafts and quilting. She loves her computer and cherishes her beloved Dusty. I believe he is part Siamese and Persian. Certainly has that meow of a Siamese mixed with Persian. He's a sweetie but he can still get into a lot of trouble. Right now my mom is babysitting my cat, Scribbles.

There is actually a hugely hilarious story about my cat but I will talk about it in another blog post since this one is a little long.

My mom isn't perfect but she did the best she could for me when I was a kid and I can't thank my mom enough for all the support and love she has given me.

My dad is another story. He isn't exactly famous or anything but he does have some interesting history. His family was Italian and thus the coffee was thick and syrupy. His mom cooked nothing but Quaker style and All-American style. My dad didn't learn to read well and had to teach himself how by reading the bible. Which I've always thought was awesome. He use to run a coffee shop and wore these crazy colored outfits. Apparently he was such the popular guy that my mom tells me he dated four women in addition to her at one time.

Go dad...but bad dad! He eventually married my mom and began working at Narrowmore Christian Foundation. He did anything from printing newspapers to paychecks to mail etc. He was the go to guy. He's probably one of the goofiest people I've ever known.

I haven't really shared anything quite like this online but he use to read me Donald Duck and other Disney stories in which he mimicked Donald's voice. I loved it! My dad still calls me baby or some kind of other kooky combination. Ugh like Bobby...one time he called me booby and I had to tell him uh...dad do you realize what you just said?!

My dad has always had a love for cowboys and trains. Typical guy stuff I guess. My dad also loves computer games and when I was old enough to try games, I spent a lot of time playing them with him nearby.

Fond memories I'll keep because other than games or sometimes watching movies together my didn't know what to do with me. LOL! I guess he really wanted a boy. Oh well.

LOL! As for me, any fame I can claim includes my Marching Band history, my few stories which may be still cherished by my English Teachers, my repore with the game club in high school, my repore with both the fencing group and the lunch brunch group (CC-Lounge people, geek squad etc) at Pasadena City College.

And apparently I have some fans now whether it be about my fanfiction or awaiting my novel anxiously. Which is awesome! Did I mention I wear glasses? I would get contacts but something about the geek look seems to make me hot...or at least people tell me that especially my husband. Ow!

I won't mention much about my interests in books, movies, tv shows and video games because I give a list of all them that can be found at my live journal profile. Which reminds me I now have a fictionpress.com profile. It is a sister/brother site to fanfiction.net. I plan to start posting some original fiction there soon.

http://www.fictionpress.com/u/566933/

That pretty much sums me up though there is still a lot to uncover yet. I think I'll wrap up this post as I've rambled on long enough. I should have my original fiction 'After Tonight' up by Thursday. Apparently there is a waiting period for all new users.

~Lady Valmar~

... .LV. ...

Welcome...

Hello greetings all. Well I finally caved in. I made a blog. Amazing isn't it? This blog is a companion to my live journal page, titled "The Dragon's Infinity Circle". My live journal has weekly posts on serious and sometimes not so serious topics. This blog is more of a post of information on me and my career path. I suppose the best place to start would be with an introduction to the blog and a bit about me.

First off at this time I will not divulge my real name yet as I like maintaining my mysteriousness. My other reason is that a few unmentionable offenders have caused some difficulty with my personal dalliances. So I continue to go by my pen name Lady Valmar. In addition, I sometimes use my alias Moonshadegold.

I just wanted to say I appreciate everybody's support and help with both my novel and my occasional fanfiction dalliance. It continues to amuse me to never end every time someone asks me about the novel and I say...um...yeah still working on it. For those of you wondering when and if I will publish it, I can definitely say...yes it will be published. However, it will be at least another 2 years before it is completed. I am uncertain as to the exact time period it will take to finish it and publish it.

My main difficulty has been time. Time is not on my side at the moment. Every time I think I have gotten closer to writing the next chapter something interrupts. The main interruption being education and the thousands of hours I've put into trying to get my wedding up and running in under 3 months. During this time period, when I'm not typing away on something I've spent a lot of that time considering the novel in addition to my pursuit of an acting career.

Were it not for a certain TV show addiction, I would have never thought in a million years about pursuing an acting career. Stargate Atlantis continues to fuel my passion to be an actor. Though it is a difficult and lucrative job to pursue, I continue to work towards it. My main focus, I should note, is not necessarily being an actor on a TV show but rather being a writer for a show with acting privileges. It would please me to never end and to my delight to write and possibly act for my favorite show Stargate Atlantis.

However, I hold no illusions such a thing would ever happen. I will continue my pursuit of acting and if I am able to have a chance to do such a thing as star or write for the show, I would be happier beyond belief.

I am currently a college student who has earned her Associates Degree in Arts and Science. I feel it is important to have something under my belt, as not long ago I was still considering a Video Game Graphic Design Career. I continue to keep that option open as I have no idea if my goal to become a tv show actor/writer will catch on for me.

In addition I am a dancer, musician, singer, artist, surfer, fencer, gamer, poet, coin collector and as always I continue to be a devoted fan of Stargate Atlantis and Stargate Sg. 1. By now, no doubtedly a few eyebrows have raised at the fencing comment. I suppose when I tell people I'm a fencer something in the conversation has been lost at least a little to them. The vast majority of people I've met still do not know what I'm talking about. Just to clear it up, a fencer is not someone who puts up fences for a living but a person who participants in what is called sword fighting.

No, it is not a Conan the Barbarian sword fighting or Samurai sword fighting. It is usually a duel between two opponents using a sword called a foil in a specific manner. Usually I prefer the Epee to the foil because of the fact that the Epee allows one to hit all areas of the body. I find it beyond humorous to fence a male opponent, using Epee, because many of them worry if they hit me on my chest it might hurt me. Might I remind those few that is why women and men wear those protective hard plastic cups so that injuries do not occur.

In fact my fiancée and me met because of fencing. We were rather like two geeks in love, only with swords instead of laptops and action instead of threats. We remain geeks if you want to call us that but I like to think that the word geek has changed a lot since it was first introduced into our vocabulary.

Again I want to thank those who have supported my aspirations and goals unendingly and I will remain forever grateful to my best friend who prompted me because of my novel to consider a career as a writer/actor. In case any of you were interested I have a fanfiction profile page and a yahoo group named Forbidden galaxies.

Now comes the difficult part, which I always hate to address but feel I must regardless. This will be my only notification of these two guidelines. I welcome visitors from all corners of the galaxy however, while constructive and helpful criticism is gladly welcomed, flames or bashing of any kind will not be tolerated.

That includes conduct of either myself, character(s) or anyone I have mentioned and anything else that has not been addressed. Please be courteous to any and all associated mentioning of shows, ideas, concepts and the like.

I don't think I have to remind any however none the less here it is. Plagiarism and using any materials not belonging to you is a serious offense and will be taken seriously. So please do not attempt to post something to me or elsewhere, that doesn't belong to you without prior permission from said persons, whether it be me or someone else's work.

~Lady Valmar~